Movies: A (Very) Short Screenplay.

Movies: A (Very) Short Screenplay.

INT. DAY—SHE is walking through a grocery store with GRANDMOTHER, a woman who is young to be a grandmother and has a discernible Southern accent.

SHE
So, what movie do you want to see on Friday?

GRANDMOTHER
Gosh, I don’t even know what’s out anymore.

SHE
Begin Again is out. I really loved that and would be happy to see it again. I think Lucy is coming out this week.

GRANDMOTHER (excitedly)
Is…

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So Long, New York.

So Long, New York.

Today is the day I drive away from New York City.

I moved here in July 2010 and am leaving a little over four years later.

It’s weird.

It’s weird that I’ve lived here for four years. It’s weird that I’m leaving.

The city is amazing and soul-crunching and cold and hot and vibrant and black and white and such a paradox in so many ways, and it’s the place I’ve needed to be.

But now that it’s time to…

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Pick Me, House Hunters International!

Pick Me, House Hunters International!

I totally just applied to be on House Hunters International.

Everyone cross your fingers and send good vibes and/or presents to bribe the House Hunters casting people so that one day you can watch me and The Boyfriend look for an apartment in Singapore on TV!

I promise that I won’t be the type of House Hunters person to make Liz Lemon angry.

PROMISE.

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Sweet Home … Singapore?

2014 has been a crazy year thus far.

I turned 27!

I published a book!

I’ve gone skiing in Vermont and went muggleing about at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I saw The Avett Brothers and Old Crow Medicine Show in concert. I toured vineyards on Long Island’s North Fork and have generally followed the sage advice of Tom and Donna, and treated myself. Well.

And things just keep on coming.

Beca…

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Language: A (Very) Short Screenplay

Language: A (Very) Short Screenplay

INT.—NIGHT

SHE is driving down a very dark road after picking HE up from the airport.

SHE
So, I almost witnessed this heap big wreck on my way to pick you up—

HE, interrupting
Did you just say ‘heap big’?

SHE
Yes, stop interrupting. So this massive douche canoe was weaving in and out—

HE, interrupting again
Did you just say ‘douche canoe’?

SHE
Yep.

HE
Did you make that up?

SHE
Nope.

HE
I don’t…

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So. I Wrote A Book.

So. I Wrote A Book. #takingflight

Hi!

I have a story to tell you.

It’s about writing a book.

(I know, a story about writing a book, WTF. Bear with me.)

Back in 2011, I started writing a story that wouldn’t get out of my head. It was about two teenagers who meets in an airport. That has to happen all the time, right? So, what would happen if these two teenagers meet and then, you know, become friends? And then, maybe, possibly,…

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Friday, 7:15 AM: A (Very) Short Screenplay

INT—MORNING. SHE comes into the bedroom after having walked the dog. HE is still asleep. SHE takes off her shoes, then starts heading toward the ensuite bathroom. Halfway there, she grabs her phone and types something in. Then she moves to HIS side of the bed and places her phone on the bedside table.

SHE
Morning.

The phone starts playing an annoying YouTube ad, which she promptly skips. Then the…

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